Shrimp salad.
What progressive-minded shrimp ever thought that it would end up on a leafy bed of land-greens smothered in an egg-based cream sauce loaded with spices and MSG? I’m pretty down with shrimp orally, but mentally, I’m anxious about them. They remind me of swimming-larvae-maggots-of-the-deep. I don’t even know if I like the taste of them! When they enter my mouth portal, they are always covered in a VERY CONCEALING SAUCE.
If I’m ever eaten, I would like to be slow cooked in a crock-pot. Make a Drew Stew [Beef Broth Nyiiiggga!!]. Organic fo shiggs. I swear to all that is holyish, that if you put carrots in there I will haunt you and your kin to death until your blood lineage is extinguished. I don’t HATE carrots, but every time I’m eating whether it be a salad, stew, or carrot sandwich, everytime I get a fork/spoon/mouthful of carrot I am more than disappointed, I’m downright crestfallen. And everyone knows that every time my crest falls off, a bear cub loses his temper.
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